


Guilt

by hanorganaas



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Community: 1_million_words, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Platonic Relationships, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-26
Updated: 2013-12-26
Packaged: 2018-01-06 05:22:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1102904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanorganaas/pseuds/hanorganaas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John is tortured in Rodney's place, feeling guilty, Rodney and John must deal with the fallout</p>
            </blockquote>





	Guilt

**Author's Note:**

  * For [yyzeff](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=yyzeff).



> Written for yyzeff on the **1 Million Words** Swap of Joy

_Rodney’s eyes widened as one of their Captors came towards him with a knife followed by burly men ready to beat him blind for information. He stood up straight as far as his ropes could hold him. They tightened around him making it hard to breathe. The scientist had been tortured before. He remembered when Kolya had tortured him. He couldn’t even last a minute. These men seemed more brutal….the torture would be harder to endure._

_He lifted his head quick enough to spot John. He was bound like him in the same fashion. Hands bound above his head to the wooden pole, with ropes binding his torso. He was squirming, growling. If the ropes weren’t tied so intricately and tightly he would probably rip them off and grab them by the throats._

_His thoughts were interrupted when one of the interrogators grabbed him by the hair and put a knife against his neck. Rodney winced._

_“Now Doctor McKay,” The interrogator said, “tell us-“_

_“WAIT!” A voice boomed. The Captor turned to face John. His face never shifted. It remained straight and stern masking all his fear. “Doctor McKay Doesn’t know….but I do.”_

_“John, no!” Rodney squeaked he could barely hear the sound of his own voice. He didn’t want to be tortured…..but he didn’t want John to be tortured at his expense either. The captors surrounded him in the same manner they surrounded Rodney just moments ago._

_“Are you going to tell us the information Colonel Sheppard,” The captor asked._

_John just laughed, defiant as usual (Rodney only wished he wasn’t) and with not even a word he just spit in his Captor’s face. Rodney could then only watch in horror as they started beating up John without a single ounce of mercy._

“John?” Rodney said as he walked into the infirmary. John groaned as he sat up in bed. He frowned as he saw all the cuts that marred his face in his arms. Who knows what new fresh scars were hidden under the scrubs.

“Don’t give me that look Rodney,” John responded furrowing his brow. Rodney could not help but focus on the black eye the other man was sporting. Like the other bruises on his body….it was dark and looked like it was tender to the touch. “You damn well know I hate it when people are all concerned about me when I go through a near death experience.” 

It was true. Rodney remembered when John almost turned into a bug. Though the process had been reversed, many people had crowded around him, asking him if he was okay or if he needed anything. He eventually got so…aggravated at all the concerned he snapped before storming out of the room. He later confided to Rodney that he hated when people coddled him when something traumatic happened to him. He said it made it worse. The mere fact that people treated him differently made it harder for him.

Which was somewhat understandable…..even though….Rodney if he was in John’s situation, he would crave for the sympathy and the attention. It was who Rodney was.

This scenario was different. This wasn’t some chance incident John Sheppard stumbled upon. He wasn’t in the wrong place at the wrong time. This was a situation where Rodney was inches away from being beaten…..tortured…..and yet John stepped in like the white knight and selfless hero as he was took his place.

“It should have been me,” Rodney whispered.

“Rodney,” John said sternly, but his face softened to something gentler and more sympathetic. 

“Don’t you Rodney me _Colonel_ ,” Rodney growled his hands reached for one of the rails of the infirmary bed. He gripped hard enough that his knuckles had begun to turn white, “I was the only one who knew the passcodes to all our scientific files.” 

“I know,” John responded, “but that didn’t stop me.”

John’s words not only continued to make Rodney feel even more guilt, but the fact he actually didn’t seem fazed by Rodney’s soon to be frantic behavior made him even more enraged.

“I knew the damage it could have done if they got their hands on those files,” He said leaning forward, bringing his face as close to his as humanly possible. “They were a pretty advanced race, they would be able to use some of the formulas and equations to make weapons that could kill thousands of innocent people! I am much stronger than I was years ago….knowing that alone could have kept my mouth shut!”

“I know Rodney,” John responded again, “but-“

“BUT WHAT?” Rodney finally shouted. The nurses and the doctors working around the infirmary gave him glares…but Rodney just growled and in a nonverbal way told them to mind their own damn business. 

John didn’t answer. He just simply rested one of his hands over Rodney’s. Rodney looked down in shock before looking back into the Colonel’s now kind eyes. 

“Because if you got tortured and I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself,” John said squeezing his hand tightly, “I care about you Rodney…..you take me for who I am and all the shit that goes with it…okay yeah I understand you are upset and I am sorry…but I think you would know that by now. I would do anything to make sure you come back home safe….even if it meant him getting injured in the process.”

Rodney stood silent for a moment. He knew John considered him one of his best friends on the mission….but never in his wildest dreams did he expect John to care about him enough to jump in and allow himself to suffer for the sake of his safety. It made his heart swell knowing someone on this expedition valued him that much.

Rodney looked around for a moment, making sure the nurses and the doctors were still running about and not paying attention. When the coast was clear he leaned forward and pulled John into a hug, squeezing him tightly making sure he showed John how much he valued his friendship. 

“Ow, ow, ow Rodney,” John groaned with slight chuckles, “not too hard.”

“Sorry,” The scientist responded stepping backwards. Seconds later a nurse popped her head in.

“Doctor McKay,” She said, “visiting hours are about to end….”

“Alright,” Rodney responded nodding his head before turning back to John, “are you going to be alright.”

John nodded his head.

“I will be…I mean I wish I can be in MY bed but it could be worse,” He said with a small grin on his face, “Are you?”

“Yeah,” Rodney grinned, “maybe after a watch a marathon of the new Doctor Who to get the images out of my head….well good night John.”

“Good night Rodney,” John responded.

Rodney began to make his way out the door. He paused and turned his body to face John.

“Oh and John,” He said, John raised an eyebrow in response, “If you tell anyone about this fluffy moment….I’ll kill you.”

In a flash, Rodney was gone and John couldn’t help but chuckle as he leaned his head back onto the pillow.


End file.
